What is and What Should Never Be S2 Ep21
by Bad Day at Black Rock
Summary: Following another tragedy, Dean finds himself in a life that's much more accommodating.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: These fics are based on real episodes from Supernatural. The characters and plots belong to the creator and writers for the show. If you want background on the new character you can read the previous episodes.

What is and What Should Never Be

Sam jerked out of his sleep, panting, gasping for air. _No._ The vision was still vivid in his mind; the blood, the screams. One two three, like they were nothing. _God let us get there in time. _His movement had wakened Kayla.

"Sam what's wrong?"

How can he say something like that to her? How does he find the words? "We need to go. Now." He got up and started gathering his things. "Dean."

Dean sighed and opened his eyes; he had been trying to ignore the commotion. "What's the deal man?"

His sudden rushed actions put her on edge. "Where are we going?"

"I saw him, the demon." He put his shoes on, Dean was already grabbing his things so Kayla did the same. For Dean it didn't matter the where and why, all that mattered was they find that damn demon. Sam hesitated before saying anything else.

"Sam."

He looked at her. "At your parent's house."

The color drained from her face. "What?"

Dean tossed her cell phone from the dresser and grabbed her car keys. "Let's go."

She followed them out; her hands were trembling as she punched in the number to her parent's house. There was no answer, which was fine, because they're not always home. She looked at the time, it was late there. That was ok too, because they could be vacationing. Or they could be sleeping, they were heavy sleepers. And Kyle never answered the phone past ten, so that's why no one was answering. It was just too late.

Dean pulled her out of her thoughts and made her get in the car. "Just stay calm ok? I'm gonna drive, we'll be there in no time."

Why would the demon be after her? She didn't do anything to it, and she didn't have anything it wanted. While they were driving, she kept calling her parents. She never got an answer.

It took them nearly four hours to get to the house. It should have taken six, maybe even seven but not with the way Dean was driving. They pulled into the driveway and got out, everyone just stood on the sidewalk.

Sam spoke first. "It's pretty quiet."

"Why don't you wait here and let us check it out ok?" Dean touched her shoulder.

She reeled away from him. "They're my parents!"

"And if we're too late you don't want to see that!"

She bit her lip and leaned against the car, she couldn't blame him for being right.

The guys went inside and started looking around the ground level, checking the kitchen and living room first. "Mr. and Mrs. Michelson?" Dean yelled.

"What was the butler's name? Kyle?" He looked around the corner and yelled. "Kyle?"

"Maybe they're out, on vacation."

"My vision was the master suite, let's go up there."

Dean nodded and started climbing the stairs. He didn't want to find anything, not one damn thing. She didn't deserve this. They reached the master suite, out of habit Sam knocked lightly on the door.

"Mr. Michelson?" No answer.

They exchanged looks. Dean pushed the door open then quickly stepped back and covered his mouth. _Fuck._ Both her parents were in bed, the torn remains anyway. Blood dripped from the ends of the sheets, spattering on the floor. The room was covered in it. Their eyes were wide set in terror and both their throats had been slit.

"Fuck!" Dean punched the doorframe.

Sam took a breath and went to the window, he found the sulfur sprinkled on the sill. This hadn't been a warning vision. There was no possible way they could have gotten here any faster.

Dean was furious. "Why? She has nothing to do with this."

"She's got everything to do with this. She's been here, she's been a part of it."

Dean shook his head and walked down the hall, he stopped when he saw the butler dead at the end of the hall. "We can't stay in here, we can't leave anything behind."

Kayla heard the front door shut but didn't look up as they came back to the car. _They're dead, they're dead they're dead…_

Sam swore he heard her,_ her _voice, _They're dead…_but she was leaned up against the Impala not saying a damn word.

Dean looked at her a moment. "Kayla." She coughed out a sob and he wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so sorry."

She broke into another sob then covered her mouth, trying to pull herself together. Sam was suddenly overwhelmed with devastation, more than he should have felt under the circumstances.

"You guys have to go." She managed. "You can't do this, you can't be at another scene with dead bodies."

"We can't just leave you here."

"You have to." To distract herself she started pacing and put her mind on the surrounding details. "I'm still waiting for my trial, there's no warrant for me. I have to call the police."

"What are you going to do?"

She shook her head, her mind hadn't gotten that far yet. "Just do what you do. Keep low, I'll call you."

Dean hugged her quickly and got into the car, he didn't know what to say to her. He knew he should probably stay awhile, be of some comfort to her but he just didn't know how. Sam hugged her too.

"I'm so sorry Kayla. Call us if you need anything, ok?"

She nodded and watched them get into the car. Her cell phone was already out as they drove away and she made a desperate phone call to the police. It wouldn't be long before they got there.


	2. Chapter 2

The last thing Dean remembered was thinking how stupid he was for thinking how stupid Sam was for thinking they were after a genie. Does that make sense? Sam had told him they were after a djinn, or jinn, or genie, depending on which religion you're looking at. He hadn't thought too much of it and continued his search of the local area. That old abandoned warehouse looked like a great place for missing people to be and when he check it out…he found a damn jinn. Well, it found him. It touched him…and now…

He was staring at a TV in the bedroom of an apartment he didn't recognize. Laying next to him was a hot brunette that he also didn't recognize. _Ah Dean, what'd you do? She's going to kill you._ He rubbed his eyes. What the hell was going on? Dean quietly climbed out of the bed and went into the living room, nothing looked familiar. He took out his cell phone, but stopped himself from calling Kayla. She had enough to deal with right now. He called Sam.

"Yeah."

"Sam it's me. I found the jinn."

"Um, excuse me?"

"The jinn, the genie it touched me and laid some kind of mojo on me. I woke up in some apartment next to this hot girl and…"

"You mean Carmen? Dean have you been drinking? You're drunk dialing."

"I'm not drunk, what's the matter with you?"

"Listen, get some rest, and I'll see you tomorrow alright? Goodnight Dean."

Sam hung up on him. Unbelievable. Dean did some more exploring around the place and found several interesting things. For instance, there were pictures of him and the brunette in frames on the shelves. There was also mail, addressed to him, laying on the kitchen counter. With a Lawrence, Kansas address. _What the hell._ He was beyond confused at this point.

"Sweetie?"

Uh oh.

"You couldn't sleep?" She came up and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Um, no I guess not."

"Well why don't you come back to bed, and I'll see if I can do something to help that?"

He laughed nervously and nodded. "Ok, I'll be right there."

She smiled and went back into the bedroom. _Shit_.

Dean glanced around and pulled out his phone again. Kayla's number wasn't in it. He punched in the numbers and went to the other side of the room.

"Hello?"

"Kayla, are you still at your place?"

"Who is this?"

He paused. "It's Dean."

"Dean who? What do you want?"

"Dean who? Dean Winchester what the hell do you mean Dean who?" He was Dean, there wasn't another Dean.

"Listen, I don't know how you got this number, but it's late and I'm trying to sleep."

"Don't hang up! Please don't hang up I need your help."

She sighed quietly on the other end. "If you're having a problem, I'm sure the ghost or demon or whatever it is will still be there in the morning."

"You're hunting. Are you by yourself hunting?"

"Ok I'm done. If you really have a problem I can give you the number to this roadhouse, ask for William Harvelle. Ok? The number…"

"He didn't die."

"Jesus." She apparently decided he was confused enough to need help. "Mr. Winchester where are you?"

"I'm in Lawrence Kansas."

She paused to think of the distance. "I can be there tomorrow, I'll try to make it quick. Can I reach you at this number?"

"Yeah, it's my cell phone. Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet."

After she hung up a photo on the other side of the room caught his eye. It was Dean, a little younger than he is now, with his mom. _No shit._ A thought suddenly hit him and he was out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Back in reality, Kayla had spent the day giving countless statements to police and avoiding the press. She told the cops the same story over and over again, then to the investigators. She hadn't been home, she came back to see them and found them like that, she had no idea who could have done it. By the time they stopped asking questions she was almost numb to the situation.

Then he showed up. That stupid jerkoff had the audacity to show up on her property. She had been sitting in one of the chairs a cop put out for her when Agent Hendrickson got out of his car. He approached her with mock sympathy and she stood up.

"Miss Michelson. It is still Michelson, right? You didn't forge any more paperwork."

Seriously? "What are you doing here?"

"Well when I heard about your parents I just had to come offer my condolences."

"Bullshit. Cut the crap Hendrickson."

He shrugged. "I suppose it is sort of a strange coincidence."

She felt her blood pressure rising. "What's that?"

"That your parents get murdered. You know it just so happens that you keep the company of a couple of murderers."

"They had nothing to do with this."

He was going to push her to something, something he could get her with. "But you don't know that, right? Because of the order to keep away from them, and you just found them like this…you don't know who did it."

Stay calm. Kayla took a breath. "Why don't you just spit it out already? Let's hear your theory."

"I try not to jump to conclusions." He glanced around, not wanting to draw too much attention to what he was telling her. "But it isn't easy to run the kind of operation you three have going. And you just came into a whole lot of money."

She raised her voice. "You watch your fucking mouth."

"I kind of played you as the victim Kayla, that you fell into some kind of psychological attachment trap with a couple of bad guys. But I see it better now."

She knew he was trying to get to her, but the idea that she was being accused of plotting this out actually hit her pretty hard. They were her parents, they'd always been close, always gotten along, she would have never wanted anything like this to happen.

He knew he'd found his nerve and he saw the tears in her eyes. "So was it worth it? Is it all going to work out now that you got them to take out mommy and daddy?"

Kayla reeled back and punched him in the face. He hadn't expected that. Several officers ran towards them as she screamed at him. "I love my parents! I wouldn't fucking set this up!" She went after him again, only to be grabbed by a cop.

"What the hell is going on here!"

Hendrickson calmly wiped the blood from where she'd busted his lip. "She's obviously overwhelmed with her loss."

"Don't play the good guy now, I didn't do this! Get the hell off my property!"

One of the officers murmured something quietly to him, he shook his head and stepped back. "Oh no, of course I'm not pressing charges. She's got a lot to deal with right now." He smirked quickly and got back in his car.

She wished Dean was there.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean had spent the night as his mother's house, with his mom. He could do that because she was alive and fine and knew him. His dad was still gone, but he hadn't been killed by some demon that may have dragged him to hell. Nope, just your run of the mill stroke while he slept. No pain involved. Wherever the hell he was, he was normal. He worked at a garage nine to five and paid his bills every month. It was something he could get used to.

After he'd mowed the lawn (which was awesome, he'd never done it before), he sat out on the front porch to enjoy a cold beer. That's when Sammy pulled up-with Jessica.

"No shit." He walked over and hugged Jessica tightly. "Ah Jess it's great to see you."

"Um, hi, Dean." She was a little surprised. "You too."

He shoved Sam's shoulder. "Sammy, hey, you and Jessica…I just can't believe it. So where you guys coming from?"

"Yeah, we just flew in from California."

"California! Of course, Stanford, right? Law school I bet."

He looked at him like he was crazy, but in an expectant way. Sam pointed at the beer in his hand. "I see you started off mom's birthday with a bang as usual."

"Mom's birthday, that's today?"

"Yeah Dean, that's today. That's why we're here. Don't tell me you forgot." He grimaced. "We're going to dinner tonight? Mom, me and Jess, you and Carmen? Any of this ringing a bell?"

"Right, about Carmen…she uh…we broke up."

Sam didn't look surprised by this. "Was this before or after you called me drunk, telling me you woke up next to some girl?"

"Yeah." His cell phone rang at his side. "But we're still gonna have a good time, I've got a date, her name's Kayla you're gonna love her." He checked his phone, speaking of which…

"Alright man, we're gonna go in." He shook his head as they went inside.

Dean opened his phone. "Kayla, I was just gonna call you. Are you in Lawrence?"

"Yeah, I stopped at the University to speak with one of the professors about djinns. If that's what you're dealing with, the bad ones are apparently pretty nasty. They feed off of humans."

"No kidding, what about the whole granting wishes thing?"

"They definitely have the power to do it, they're demi-Gods. There's more information, is there somewhere I can meet you?"

"Yeah sure, if you're still at the school I'll come up there. Is there like an open commons or something?"

"I think so…in the main building when you first turn in."

"Alright I'll be right there." He closed the phone, he could make this work. If she wasn't a part of this now, she would be and everything would be perfect. He told everyone he'd back in awhile and headed for the university.


	5. Chapter 5

He walked into the commons and did a quick scan; he smiled when he saw her sitting at one of the tables, flipping through a book. At least she was here, at least he could get in touch with her. As he approached she looked up, her expression obviously unfamiliar to him. According to this place, the Winchesters were never hunters, which meant they never met up with Kayla, hence why she was hunting alone. If she never hunted with them, she never ran into Yellow Eyes, and her parents were still alive. Hopefully she'll be in a generally good mood.

"Kayla."

Her expression was guarded. "You must be Dean."

"Thank you for coming out here."

She nodded. He didn't _look_ crazy, he looked like a freakin' underwear model. "So tell me what's up."

"Ok." He sat across from her. "So yesterday we were looking for…wait. Let me start over. I'm a hunter, like you. So is my brother Sam, we hunt together. Yesterday we were after a djinn, and when I found it, it touched me and the next thing I know I wake up here in Lawrence which is actually my hometown, in bed next to a girl who thinks she's my girlfriend. My mom, who actually died when I was a kid, is alive and fine, my brother is engaged to the girl who a demon killed a couple years ago. He's doing great, except he doesn't seem to want to talk to me."

"Have you told him all this? Because that would probably be why."

"No of course not. Ok so aside from being in an alternate reality I keep seeing a girl, and every time I see her she gets worse, like she's dying but she always disappears. I see bodies, hanging in closets one minute and the next they're gone. There's something wrong with this place and I'm praying to God you don't think I'm crazy and will help me figure it out."

She looked at him a moment before answering. "Why did you call me? Have we worked together in this other dimension of yours?"

"Yeah, you hunt with us. You um, you and me, we kind of have been together, for awhile now."

She raised an eyebrow. "Ok, lost me on that one." She closed the book and started to stand, he grabbed her wrist.

"Wait. I know you, I do." He noticed a long scar on her forearm. "Where'd you get that cut?"

She pulled her arm away from him. "A really homicidal little girl. Well, spirit."

He paused to run a recap over their cases. A little girl spirit who killed? He looked at her. "Did you work with Sarah? Sarah Blake?"

She folded her arms. "How'd you know that?"

"Because in _my_ reality, we all went on that case together. Every owner of the painting got murdered, we thought it was the dad but it turns out the little girl killed everyone?"

Kayla looked like she was getting more convinced, but she wasn't quite there yet.

"Ok. I know that you have a secret affliction for Floyd and Zepplin that you may not realize yet…" he thought for a moment. "I know that the exact phrase going through your mind right now is 'ridiculously good looking'."

She laughed. "Well you got me there."

He smirked. "Even if you still think I'm slightly off, please help me figure this out. Help me find this girl I keep seeing."

She nodded, what the hell right? "Alright."

"Yes." He pumped his fist. "Oh yeah, would you do me a favor and come to my mom's birthday dinner with us tonight?"

"You are so pushing it."

"No please, you have to. This Carmen girl is awesome, she is but it's weird. It's a family dinner, just come hang out. Free dinner."

She looked at him; her current job could wait. "Fine. You want to hear about this thing or what?"

He grinned. "I'm listening."

She opened the book again. "So because of the power they have, djinns can actually create realities. They create basically another dimension which is I guess how it granted your wish. What was your wish anyway?"

"That my mom never died when we were kids."

Kayla smiled but quickly let it go. "Well it looks like you got your wish, you pretty much got a new life."


	6. Chapter 6

Dean had been nervous when Kayla told him she'd meet them at the restaurant. It had been a risk, because she still questioned his credibility and he didn't know if she'd show. The seat was still open when the waiter brought their drinks out.

Mom sipped her water. "Sweetheart what happened to Carmen?"

"She um, I don't know." He shrugged. "She said she wasn't into it anymore."

Sam glanced at him with that look that said, _yeah way to fuck it up buddy._ Oh well, they didn't know.

"And how long have you been seeing, um, Kayla was her name?"

He took a drink, not really sure what to say. Kayla had reluctantly agreed to play nice with him but he wasn't sure how far she'd take it. "Long enough." It was perfect timing when she walked in and his eyes followed her from the door. He was kind of speechless; she was wearing a strapless blue cocktail dress that was flat out girly. He'd never seen her dressed up before, she never had a reason to be. It looked great on her.

She walked over and he stood to greet her, even Sam stopped a moment to look at her (he then rolled his eyes-it wasn't hard for Dean to pick up girls). Dean slid a hand across her waist as he was accustomed to do, but in this case it made her blush. Yeah, she still wanted him.

"Guys this is Kayla, Kayla, the family…my mom, Sam, Jess."

She smiled politely. "Hi."

Dean pulled her chair out and waited for her to sit before returning to his seat. The appetizers were coming out and Sam raised his glass.

"So, considering the occasion, to mom."

They toasted to her birthday and he couldn't help but smile looking at the scene. Sam and Jess, happy together and mom looking on proudly. It was great. The evening went like clockwork; Kayla jumped right into conversation and seemed to get along with the family from the start. Of course Dean knew she would because she already did. He was starting to like this djinn creature. Later in the dinner Sam announced his engagement to Jess, what could be better?

As they were exchanging congratulations, Dean saw the girl again. She looked even worse, deathly this time. He walked towards her and once again she disappeared. When he turned back everyone at the table was looking at him in concern. He smiled reassuringly and sat back down, leaning over to Kayla.

"Tell me you saw that."

"Saw what?"

After dinner they went back to the house. Mom headed inside while the rest of them lagged at the porch, Sam looked ready to ditch the group.

He looked at Jessica. "You ready to turn in?"

"Hold on," Dean smiled. "It's not even nine o'clock yet, let's go grab some drinks or something."

Sam gave him a look. "Maybe some other time."

"Come on man, we've got beautiful women on our arms, you're engaged, let's celebrate!"

"Um," he looked to the girls. "Can I have just a minute to talk to my brother?" They went inside the house. "Dean what's with the fuzzy caring crap?"

He shrugged. "I'm just happy for you Sammy."

"Yeah that's another thing, since when do you call me Sammy? I mean come on, Dean, we don't talk outside of holidays."

"We don't? Well, we should. You're my brother."

Sam shook his head. "You're my brother. You know that's what you said when you snaked my ATM card, and when you ditched out on my graduation, and when you hooked up with Rachel Nate."

"Who?"

"My prom date. On prom night."

He tried not to laugh. "Yeah that does sound like something I would do." He smiled a little. "Well come on Sam, I'm sorry about all that."

Sam stepped back before Dean could pat him again. "No, it's fine. I'm not asking you to change. I just, I don't know. We don't really have anything in common."

After their conversation Dean took Kayla back to the car; they needed to figure this thing out with the girl. He sat in the driver's seat without cranking the ignition.

"So my brother hates me, he thinks I'm a dick."

"Are you?"

He glanced to her and shrugged. "Yeah sometimes. But this is different, he doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Well you can work that out though."

He nodded. "I think I get the wish process. It only took the one wish…that my mom never died. Everything else is natural consequence. Me and Sammy never got close, I never met you because we didn't hunt. It makes sense, it's not everything I wanted but it makes sense."

She leaned back and watched his expression. "So what do you want to do?"

"We need work out this genie thing first. I think if we go back to the warehouse I was at when he zapped me, we'll find the girl. It's gonna be a long drive."

"Well then I should probably change out of the dress."

"If you insist…" He smirked. "I'll take you back to the car, we need to wait until everyone's asleep anyway. I'm gonna need a silver knife dipped in lamb's blood."


	7. Chapter 7

That night he snuck back into the house to get a silver knife from his mom's collection. He'd return it of course, after using it and giving it a thorough cleaning. Apparently he wasn't quiet enough. Sam tried to come up behind him with a baseball bat; Dean snatched it from him and laid him out on the floor.

"That was so easy I'm embarrassed for you."

"Dean? What the hell are you doing here?"

He helped him off the ground and brushed him off. "I was looking for a beer."

"In the china cabinet?" Sam turned the light on and saw their mom's silver knife collection opened on the table. "That's mom's silver."

"Sam."

"Wait, you broke into the house, to steal mom's silver?" He walked towards him like he was going to kick his ass.

"It's not what it looks like. Ok? I had to."

"Why? What's so important that you have to steal from your own mother?"

He quickly chose a path. "You want the truth?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I owe somebody money, a bookie. I gotta bring him the cash tonight."

Sam stared at him, awe-struck. "I can't believe we're even related."

"Sam I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we don't get along, and I wish to hell that I could stay and fix it. But I gotta do this, people's lives depend on it."

He watched him take a single knife from the box. "What are you talking about Dean?"

"Nothing, just forget it. Hey tell mom that I love her." He headed for the door.

"Dean."

"I'll see you Sammy." He went out and got in the car.

Kayla looked at the knife. "All set then."

"Apparently so."

She motioned to the front door. "Your brother's coming."

Sam went to the car, he saw Kayla sitting shotgun and got in the back seat. "What's she doing here?"

"Sam get out of the car, you'll only slow me down."

"Dean whatever dumb thing you're about to do, you're still my brother and I'm going with you."

"Why?"

He grimaced. "Because you're still my brother."

They got driving, it was awhile away so he laid on the accelerator. After awhile Sam started asking questions about the knife and where the hell they were going, so Dean decided to just let him in on it.

"I needed a silver knife to hunt this creature, a djinn."

Kayla glanced in the mirror to see Sam's reaction.

He mulled it over for a moment. "Stop the car." Kayla laughed. "Seriously. Stop the car."

"It's true. Sam, there are bad things out there, nightmarish things and if we don't stop them, people will die."

"And I want to help you, I do. But you're having some kind of psychotic breakdown right now so…"

"I wish."

Sam pulled out his phone and started dialing. Dean glanced to Kayla.

"Take care of that huh?"

She rolled her window down, reached back to take the phone, and threw it out the window.

"What the hell?!"

"Sam, I'm not going to a rubber room and we got work to do."


	8. Chapter 8

They were getting close to the warehouse. Sam had fallen asleep but Kayla stayed with him, making conversation about hunting; some of the jobs they went on together Kayla ended up doing alone. Other's she'd never heard of and some just weren't hunted at all. The people they saved had died because no one was there to protect them.

"You know I was starting to think this is what I wanted. Having a normal life where the boogey man was just a bedtime story."

"Isn't that why you were given this chance? So you wouldn't have to do this anymore?"

He nodded. "But if I don't, people are gonna die."

"You can't save everyone Dean."

He pulled up to the warehouse and parked. "I can save everyone I can." He turned and shoved Sam, jerking him out of sleep.

"Where are we?"

"Well we're not in Kansas anymore." He chuckled at his own joke, Sam wasn't amused.

"So you think there's some creature in there?"

"I know there is."

They went in quietly, trying not to alert the damn thing this time. It looked the same as the first time Dean was there. As they went further in, he saw the images he'd seen over the last two days in full reality. Two bodies, dead, hanging next to each other. Both were hooked to IVs that had drained them completely dry of blood. A few feet away was the girl, looking worse than ever. She moaned softly.

"Dean what the hell is going on?" Sam was freaking out.

"Shh." They looked and saw a shadow coming towards them. Without another sound they dodged for cover.

The genie came out and approached the girl. She came to and started crying softly.

"Where's my dad? Please don't hurt me…don't…where's my dad?"

"Sleep." He cooed to her and touched her face, sending an electric blue light up her cheek. She lost consciousness again. The genie reached up and drank from the blood bag hanging next to her.

Sam gagged quietly. The genie looked and Dean jerked him underneath the staircase before they could be seen. Satisfied nothing was there, it left. A door echoed closed from upstairs.

"This is real. You're not crazy."

"She didn't know where she was. She thought she was with her father." He walked up to the girl with Sam and Kayla following. "What if that's what it does? It doesn't grant your wish, it just makes you think it does."

"Dean that thing could come back."

He was putting the pieces together. He turned and stared at an empty rope tied to the ceiling, it was out of place. The light flickered and his vision went blurry, he saw himself, in flashes, tied to the rope with a blood bag hanging near him.

Kayla's voice came from behind him. "Dean?"

"What if I'm like her? Tied up in here some place? What if all this is in my head?"

She tried to reason with him. "That doesn't even make sense."

"Sure it does. Just listen. Maybe I'm not getting visions of a spirit, maybe I'm just getting visions of reality. Maybe I'm hanging in here and I'm taking all this in but I can't snap out of it."

"Ok, you were right." Sam pleaded. "I was wrong and you're not crazy but we need to get out of here, fast." He tried to pull him away but Dean swatted his arm.

"I don't think you're real." He stepped away from them and pulled out the knife. "And there's one way to be sure."

"What are you doing?"

"Old wives tale, if you're about to die in your dream you wake up."

"That's crazy! You're going to kill yourself!"

"Or I'm gonna wake up."

Kayla stepped towards him cautiously. "Dean calm down, don't do this. You want to save people? Let's save people. You can't save anyone if you're dead."

"No I'm pretty sure about this." He paused. "Like ninety percent sure." He turned the knife towards himself. "Sure enough."

"Wait!" Sam yelled at him.

Light footsteps came towards them and Dean turned to see his mom, then Jess.

Sam shook his head. "Why'd you have to keep digging? Why couldn't you have left well enough alone? You were happy."

His mom came close to him. "Put the knife down honey."

Tears came into his eyes as reality crashed in on him. "You're not real, none of this is."

"It doesn't matter. It's still better than anything you had."

"What?"

"It's everything you want, we're a family again. Let's go home."

He shook his head. "I'll die. The djinn will drain the life out of me in a couple days."

"But in here it'll feel like years, like a lifetime." She smiled softly and touched his cheek. "I promise. No more pain, no more fear. Just love and comfort. Safety. Stay with us."

Jessica spoke next. "You don't have to worry about Sam anymore. You get to watch him live a full life."

Kayla came up to him, they were really rubbing this in. "You wanted me here and you made it happen. Stay and we can relax, we can have a normal life. I love you Dean, haven't we sacrificed enough?"

"Why is it our job to save everyone?" Sam added. "Please man, give me the knife."

Dean looked between them. He wanted to stay, God he wanted to stay. Why couldn't he have this? Why did they have to sacrifice everything for everyone else? He never asked for that responsibility.

But he had it. "I'm sorry." He drove the knife through his gut and it sure as hell felt real.


	9. Chapter 9

"Dean! Wake up man." He was glad he hadn't called Kayla when Dean didn't show; he was glad she did have to see him like this. As he came to, Sam pulled the needle slowly out of his neck. "Hey."

"Auntie Em."

"I thought I lost you there for a minute."

"You almost did."

He got one of his hands untied and started working on the other.

"Sam!"

He spun around and narrowly avoided the djinn. Sam pulled his knife and took a swipe at it, it dodged and grabbed hold of him. It pushed him up against the wall and opened its hand; a glowing blue light circled his palm. That couldn't be good.

Dean managed to jerk his hands loose and stabbed the thing in the back with the silver knife. The lights went out in the djinn. He quickly went over to the girl; she was still breathing.

"She's still alive Sam, help me."

Sam cut the rope loose. "We need to get her to a hospital."

They went out to the car, when Dean got the chance to sit down he rubbed his eyes. "Have you talked to her?"

"Yeah for a minute. She gave me the address of where she's at, another property that her parents owned. The lawyers already have the other place up for sale at her request."

He couldn't blame her. "How'd she sound."

"Like she was trying to pretend she was fine. Dean, what the hell happened in the warehouse?"

"Man you should have seen it."


	10. Chapter 10

Kayla watched a bay gelding as it peacefully grazed on the grass. She was glad the legalities were taken care of, and thankful the lawyers didn't try to console her. They were strictly business and never questioned what she wanted to do with the assets. She couldn't bear to look at the house anymore and she told them to place it immediately up for sale. The only thing she took from it were pictures.

As for the money, she wanted to talk to the guys about it first. She put a great deal into an account for the upkeep of the ranch property. She'd always loved this place. The quiet, the space, no neighbors.

Dean watched her for a moment, she was leaned against the fencing looking over a green pasture. It would have been a serene picture under different circumstances. He walked up behind her.

She turned and offered a half-hearted smile before hugging him tightly. "Hey, you made it."

"How're you holding up?"

"I'm fine." She shrugged it off and her attitude switched. "How do you like the place? It puts the other one to shame huh?"

He hadn't seen the inside of the house yet, but the property was huge. "Yeah, it's a lot of land."

"Seventy acres. Crazy huh?" She kissed him and motioned to the house. "Did Sam go inside? Tell me about the job."

He paused. "You want to hear about the hunt?"

"Of course, I feel like I missed out."

While they were walking back to the house he told her everything. The experience was so surreal, he couldn't help but touch on every detail. He even told her about Carmen, and Sam hating his guts. She'd laughed when he explained how he'd convinced her he wasn't a raving lunatic and got her to help him.

She opened the front door. "Sorry I missed that one."

"I'm not going to lie to you."

"You wanted to stay."

"I wanted to stay."

She smiled. "But here you are. I for one appreciate that."

He knew she was trying to put on her tough face for him, he stopped her. "Kayla, if you don't want to do this anymore, I totally get it. You've helped a lot of people, just relax, do what you want to do."

Kayla touched his jacket and let herself be serious for a moment. "You're what I want, so stop being crazy." She kissed him to stay out of a conversation.

He knew what she was doing. "Kayla I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that…"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"But you should."

She looked at him a moment and gave him a crooked smile. "It feels like I haven't seen you for weeks." Her hand slid around the back of his neck to pull him in for another kiss. "Let's tour a bedroom."


	11. Chapter 11

Three days later Kayla was still playing fine and Dean was at a loss. What could they do at this point? Du they look for the next job or give her more time? His head was so many places, he actually lost a card game to Sam. Even Sam was surprised.

"You ok man?"

He grimaced. "I don't know what to say to her and I think she knows that. Maybe it's just the conversation itself she's avoiding. I'm kind of afraid she's going to tell me that something in her hates me, because we drug her into this whole demon thing. Every time I try to talk to her about it she changes the subject then just…shuts me up."

Sam laughed quietly. "Because she knows how to."

"Talk to her."

"Why me?"

"Because she can't have sex with you! Well, she _can_…ah man don't do that to me, I'm your brother."

"I didn't do anything!"

"Sammy please. I'm not good with the emotional thing and she knows it freaks me out. She'll open up to you. In fact, the sex thing might work with you…"

"Dean."

"Please."

He sighed and shuffled the cards. "I'll talk to her."

"Right now."

"Geez." Sam stood and tossed the cards on the table. "Where is she?"

"I don't know." He leaned back and stared at the ceiling. "I guess down at the stable."

Sam made his way outside and down the dirt path. Dean's train of thought was at least rational; though what the demon did wasn't their fault, she hadn't had anything to do with the demon until she met them. He could see where she would feel some resentment, but she didn't. Not towards them.

She blamed herself, and it went way further back than hunting with them. Kayla blamed herself for how she recovered from the rape in high school. Instead of going to counseling and meetings and hearing stories of how to move on with her life, she shut herself off from the world. She didn't fit in anymore and couldn't go back to the social lifestyle she'd had. Instead she found an outlet. Had she not started hunting to begin with, her parents wouldn't be dead.

And _how_ does he know this? Because he's heard it playing in her head for three days now. All the self-loathing, all the blame and devastation, he didn't know why but he could hear it.

Kayla was coming out of the stables and slowed her pace when she saw him. "So he sent in the reinforcements."

He smiled softly and turned to walk back up towards the house with her. "What makes you say that?"

"He sent you to talk to me didn't he?"

"He just wants to help."

"And like I told him, I really don't want to talk about it."

"You can't avoid it forever."

"Why?" She shot at him. "People go their whole lives avoiding horrible truths. Why can't I?"

"Because it doesn't matter how horrible the truth is, you still face it. You have to face it or it just takes over."

_You wouldn't think that if you knew the truth._

"About what?" He looked at her with focused demand. "If I knew the truth about what?" He saw the confusion in her eyes and knew she was starting to figure it out. "Did I mention it's getting to where I can hear your thoughts?"

"No, can't say that you did. For how long?" That'd be a horrible way to find out.

"I don't know, it's not all the time. So what don't I know the truth about?"

"You just told me you could read my mind and you want to continue this discussion?"

"Kayla."

She sat on the front steps of the house. "So let's hear it, whatever you came to say."

He sighed at her changing the subject, but this was why he came to talk to her. Sam sat down next to her. "Your parents murder wasn't your fault."

"That's what you've got? You're going to start with shoveling the grief counseling bullshit down my throat?"

"You reacted to what he did to you like anyone else would. Rejecting the public, secluding yourself, finding another outlet for the pain you had to go through. No one just gets over rape in a couple months, anyone who says they did is just putting on a happy face and flat out lying to themselves. Your choice to live in private didn't kill your parents."

She was quiet a moment; she hadn't been expecting that. "I don't think I like you reading my mind." She could feel the sting of the tears in the corners of her eyes.

"It's not like I tried to. I just hear it sometimes."

"Sam I lied to you when you asked about the possession."

"What?"

She didn't want him to just hear it when she had a flashback some random day. "When you asked if you had, and I told you no…"

"Jesus Christ don't tell me that."

"I'm sorry Sam."

"You're sorry. That's a classic. I raped you and you're sorry. Does Dean know?"

"Yeah, he's known."

"Wow." He rubbed his eyes and kept his chin in his hands. "You had no right keeping that from me."

"But it wasn't your fault. It wasn't you, and there wasn't anything you could have done to prevent it. I just, I didn't want you to think you're some kind of monster because you're not."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, about everything."

"Don't be mad at Dean, he kept telling me to tell you. It was my fault."

He tried not to think about it. "There was no way any of us could have known that thing would go after your parents. It wasn't your fault."

Her bottom lip trembled as she let it sink in. "They weren't even a part of it, they didn't know it's stupid plans, they didn't know any of it. They didn't have to die."

Sam pulled her over and kissed her on the forehead. "We're going to beat this thing together, ok? We're gonna find that demon."

"And what if it beats us?"

"It's not an option." A sense of fear tugged at him, fear that wasn't his. "You don't have to be afraid."

"It's drawing us in to come after us. It did this for a reason."

"We're going to be ready."


End file.
